Mystery is Half the Fun
by Erudite13
Summary: Charlie and the Chocolate factory from Willy Wonka's pov. Depp Wonka because he's so much fun to write for.
1. Chapter 1

Willy Wonka, Chocolatier Extraordinaire, could hardly believe he was doing this as pushed the button for the Wonka bar wrapping room in the glass elevator. His purple-gloved hands were clutched nervously around five golden tickets, meant for five children, complete strangers, to visit his factory. If all went well, one would become his heir and inherit the factory.

"Why am I doing this?" he asked himself. "This is silly, and not the good kind of silly. Five strange children and their p-p-, grown ups in my factory. Who knew it would be so complicated to find an heir."

It was either this or what his therapist had referred to as the "traditional way." Willy shuddered as he thought of that alternative.

"Ew, gross," he cringed. _That is highly unsanitary,_ he thought to himself. _Plus what if I go through all that and end up with a child who doesn't like candy?_

Willy paused for a moment then laughed at the thought of a child who didn't like candy. The very idea was absurd. No, he had five options. One of them was bound to be the perfect choice for his heir.

Willy reached the wrapping room and began laying the golden tickets on five chocolate bars. Four he placed at random; mystery was half the fun of a surprise after all. The fifth was placed in a shipment meant for his hometown. He gave this one a light tap for good luck as it was carried off down the conveyer belt.

Five children would find these tickets. One would become his heir. He felt both nervous and excited at this prospect. He just hoped nothing went wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

A week had gone by and Willy was feeling more anxious than ever. He hadn't expected the contest to be as big a deal as it was. It seemed the whole world wanted a chance to visit his factory. He felt flattered, but the suspense was killing him. He wanted to find out who the winners were.

As if in answer to his prayers, an Oompa Loompa appeared in his office and informed him that the first ticket had been found. Willy sprung up so fast he nearly tripped on his heeled boots. Why he wore heeled boots when he was already over a foot taller than the Oompa Loompas, no one knew, but that's neither here nor there at this moment.

Willy turned on the television in his sitting room and flipped it to one of the many news stations covering the news of the first golden ticket finder. This was it, he was going to see who the first lucky child was. His first potential heir to his fa-SWEET SUGAR CUBES, WHAT IS THAT THING?

Willy looked over at the Oompa Loompa who shared his look of disgust. According to the news reporter, the child's name was Augustus Gloop and he was from a small town in Germany.

"Why are they interviewing him in the middle of a butcher shop?" Willy wondered aloud. "Chocolate and meat don't go together at all, believe me I've done tests."

He turned his attention back to the television as Augustus described how he discovered the golden ticket.

"Oh this won't do at all," Willy commented as Augustus listed all the things the ticket hadn't tasted like when biting into it. "One can't just put things in their mouths without thinking. Why it's an accident waiting to happen. Not to mention it lacking the proper appreciation for candy."

The Oompa Loompa made a note to remove anything dangerous from the chocolate room in case the Gloop boy tried to eat it.

As Willy watched the Gloop shoving chocolate into his mouth on live tv, he consoled himself with the fact that there were still four tickets left. His heir was out there somewhere.

A few days later, the news came in that the second ticket had been found. Willy breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the girl who by all appearances was the opposite of the Gloop kid. He smiled at her charming British voice as she introduced herself to the crowd. Veruca, what an odd name, he'd have to look it up to see if it meant anything. She seemed friendly though.

Willy's smile fell as Veruca's father told of how the ticket had been found.

"Now if you'll excuse us, I promised my little Veruca a new pony."

Willy turned to his Oompa Loompa secretary and shook his head.

"Well this is turning out to be a bigger mistake than the flammable gumdrops," he said. "At least there's three more tickets left. I can't imagine every child will be horrible."

Willy went to bed that night plagued with dreams of the Salt girl's pets wrecking havoc on his factory.


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks, it had been two weeks since a ticket had been found. Willy was growing more anxious by the day. What was taking so long to find three tickets hidden in candy bars? The contest was nearly half over and so far it wasn't looking good. Willy hadn't considered there would be a chance all five tickets wouldn't be found before the deadline. No way on earth was he giving his factory to the Gloop or the spoiled brat. Not a chance. Perhaps he could invent a candy that would make him live forever.

Willy was pulled out of his thoughts by and Oompa Loompa delivering the news he'd been waiting for: golden ticket number three had been found by a girl named Violet Baureguard. Willy had a smile on his face as he headed for the nearest tv. At last, another potential heir had come forward. Violet, like his eyes, yes he was liking her already.

As with Veruca, Willy's smile fell as Violet was interviewed.

"She's much too angry for someone with a pretty name like Violet," he commented.

He cringed when he found out she was a gum chewer, one of the few candies he didn't care for. He dropped his cane when he found out she'd been chewing the same piece of gum for months.

"Now this is just silly," he said, "a girl with a compulsive obsession with the one candy I find gross. I don't know what I've done to offend the universe, but I'd better apologize before the last two tickets are found. Perhaps the best is being saved for last, yes that must be it. It obviously can't get worse from here."

It was only a few days later that the fourth ticket was found. Willy smiled as heard the news reporter say the boy's name. Mike Teevee, ha, just like television. Surely someone with a name like that had a sense of humor. Yes this had to be the whimsical child he'd dreamed of finding when he set up the contest.

Then he got his first look at the boy. Willy would later deny he'd let out a frightened squeak when Mike spoke.

 _It's official, I've angered the universe,_ he thought. Looking over, he could see one of the Oompa Loompa's frantically shaking its head at him.

"What have I gotten myself into?" he asked as Mike told the reporters he hated chocolate. "I don't believe it, four tickets found and all four winners are rotten. Can't we just pretend we're not home the day of the tour?"

His secretary shook her head.

Willy sighed in disappointment.

"Then we'll have to find a few loopholes to get out of this," he said. "Maybe they're all good children who make bad first impressions, yes that's it, these are just bad first impressions. My heir won't have to be a choice between fat, spoiled, mean, and are we sure that Teevee kid isn't secretly a robot? Someone make a note to have a metal detector set up in the doorway before the tour."

Just one ticket left. Willy was no longer trying to picture _who_ would find it, but worried about _what_ was going to find it.


	4. Chapter 4

One week, there was only one week left of the contest and one ticket had yet to be found. It was hopeless, he'd have to settle for one of the four terrors or scrap the plans altogether. Maybe Willy had been naïve to think he could find the perfect heir this way? No, he or she was out there somewhere. Willy was putting all his hope in that final ticket. It wasn't like he had much of a choice.

Willy's heart nearly leapt out of his chest when the news of the last ticket being found came in. He wasn't sure whether he should feel excited or frightened as he parked himself in front of the tv to watch the news.

"All we know so far is that the final ticket has been found. More on the story tonight and hopefully an interview with the lucky child."

Willy fought a laugh at now badly the news anchor was failing at hiding his jealousy towards the final contest winner. He did wonder why they didn't have much information yet though. He didn't even know if this final child was a boy or a girl yet. With his luck, it was probably an alien or his old rival Slugworth in disguise. Now that just wouldn't do at all.

By that evening, Willy was ready to tear his hair out, but not quite because that would be a waste of perfectly good hair. What was taking so long? The other children had been all over the news right away. Perhaps this last ticket finder was shy. Yes, that must be it. How adorable, but Willy wanted to know who they were already.

It felt like years had passed by the time the evening news report came on. Willy was practically leaning into the tv screen as he waited for the follow-up to that morning's report on his last potential heir. At last it arrived.

"And unfortunately we're still trying to find information about the elusive final golden ticket winner. We have reports that the ticket was found in a small town in Russia, but not much else is known so far. More on the story tomorrow."

Willy sighed as the report ended.

"Well this is just disappointing," he said, "not even a name yet, just a location."

He stopped and frowned as a thought occurred to him.

"Now wait just a minute," he stopped to count on his fingers and frowned deeper. "Now wait just a minute. Something's not adding up. I arranged for a ticket to be found in the same town as the factory to reward my most loyal customers. I was quite looking forward to that ticket being found. Someone either made a shipping error or something else has gone wrong."

He began to pace nervously.

"I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation," he said. "It must've been a shipping error, nothing more. This Russian child could be the one. I just wish I knew who they were since the tour is only a week away."

Days passed and no further information came through about the final ticket finder. Finally, two days before the tour was to take place, Willy received news that made him want to scream.

The final ticket discovery had been a fake. There was one ticket still out there, but at this point it might be too late.

"People stopped looking because they thought the tickets were all gone," Willy pouted. "If I miss out on the perfect heir because of that fraud, I will track them down and mail them a crate of wangdoodles."

He sank back in his chair with his hands over his face.

"What have I gotten myself into?"


	5. Chapter 5

Willy lay slumped against the couch in his office the next evening. He'd been forced to take a break after the stress he was under caused him to nearly blow up the Inventing Room. One day left, one day and so far he was not happy with a single thing in relation to this contest. The news was on, but he wasn't paying attention. It was mostly just coverage of the four ticket winners and footage of the news crews setting up outside his factory in preparation for the doors opening tomorrow. There was also talk of whether the final ticket would be found in time.

"This just in, we've just received a report that the final ticket has been found right down the street from the factory. Our reporters are on their way to the scene and we will have the story soon."

Willy shot up straight at this.

"My heir!" he said before catching himself. No he mustn't get his hopes up. This child could be just like the others.

"Well now I hope they won't turn out to be rotten after they already made me wait for them. That would be most impolite," Willy said.

Despite his promise not to get his hopes up, Willy stayed glued to the television for most of the afternoon. Finally he got what he was waiting for as this time there was an actual ticket finder to interview.

Charlie Bucket, some of Willy's unease faded as he saw the brilliant smile on the boy's face. He couldn't get excited just yet as bratty pony girl had been smiling at first too.

Charlie's story of how he'd found the ticket however brought a smile to his face and sparked a bit of pride in him.

"He found some money and his first thought was to buy one of my products, what luck he found the final ticket," Willy stated.

He felt even more flattered when Charlie claimed he'd bought the chocolate bar before finding out about the fake ticket.

"Him, him, I choose that child!" Willy told his secretary.

He frowned when Doris sent him a quizzical look.

"Ok I guess you're right, I should at least give the others a chance too. It's like I always say, if one doesn't keep an open mind, then how can their imagination get in?"

Doris nodded in agreement.

"I still want to set those traps for the other four children just in case they are as awful as their first impressions," Willy said. "And stop giving me that look. I do not think including a song if they fail their tests is a bit much."

Doris started scribbling something down while Willy turned his attention back on the tv.

"I believe a test for Charlie is unnecessary," he stated. "I do believe he's the one who will become my heir, barring unforeseen circumstances of course."

Willy felt like dancing as he watched the rest of Charlie's interview.

"I finally got my non rotten child. One that smiles and loves candy and, hey is it just me or is the wall of his house crooked? Oh who cares, I might've found my heir."

 **A/N: Next up, the tour begins. Don't worry, I promise not to abandon this story.**


	6. Chapter 6

At long last, the day of the tour arrived. Willy got up bright and early and dressed in one of his finest outfits including his favorite red velvet coat. He accessorized this with his signature black top hat and a pair of gloves, making him the perfect picture of an eccentric candy maker who was about to interact with strangers for the first time in years. After grabbing his cane, which was filled with small candies for those long nights in the inventing when he needed a little sugar rush to stay awake, Willy was off towards the elevator.

After exiting the elevator, Willy took a shortcut through the Chocolate Room and went over everything in his head one last time. He could hardly believe it. Five children and their p—people who tell children what to do in his factory. He really hoped they weren't as bad as they seemed on tv or this was going to be a very long day.

 _Now, now, I promised to keep an open mind about my guests today,_ he mentally scolded himself.

He glanced over at the chocolate river and cast a cheeky smile at the one wide pipe which had replaced the series of smaller ones which were normally used. He couldn't risk having a certain rotund boy getting crushed if he failed his test after all. Okay so perhaps his mind wasn't so open to this contest since most of the Chocolate Room had been Augustus proofed. Willy doubted the boy would make it past this room.

Mike Teavee was the other child he already knew wasn't getting his factory. It didn't matter whether he failed his test or not. Willy would sooner blow up the entire factory than hand it over to someone who hated chocolate. He still planned to try and engage the boy as much as possible, if only to see if there was really a child under that grumpy façade.

Willy already had a strong feeling that Charlie would be the winner, but he wanted to take a second look and the two female children before ruling them out too.

"Although I doubt they'd look good in a top hat," he said, touching his.

Willy caught himself smiling at the idea of a child in a miniature version of his own outfit.

"Oh darn it, now I really do want a child to dress up and to teach how to make candy," he pouted. "Well, I've only labeled two of my choices as hopeless cases so there's still three options."

Willy walked until he reached the front doors. He could see how enormous the crowd outside was and could just barely make out his guests standing just outside the gate. Grinning excitedly, he pushed a button on the intercom that allowed him to hear what was going on out there. Willy found himself cringing as he heard the unmistakable voice of Veruca Salt give an impossible demand to her father to make time go faster.

"Well that makes no sense at all," he whispered releasing the button so that the intercom didn't pick it up. "I guess Salt is a fitting last name for a child whom isn't sweet in the slightest."

Reassuring himself with that fact that he still had to possible heirs left, Willy pushed the button for the intercom again and spoke into it.

"Open the gates."

The gates opened and he gave instructions for his guests to enter and for the gates to be closed once they did.

Willy gave the cue for the welcoming song to start up and used the opportunity to slip out a side door while his guests were busy watching the show. Luckily they were too distracted to notice him coming to stand among them and had a chance to study their reactions to the welcome.

Most were frowning as he'd expected, but Charlie and his elder he was pleased to see looked intrigued. Willy frowned as he noticed the threadbare coat his favorite contest winner wore. He'd have to get the boy something more suitable if he ended up winning the whole thing.

The song ended with a bang, or a blaze to be more literal. Willy decided to make his presence known by clapping and cheering as the music came to an end.

He was surprised when no one seemed to figure out who he was. They all stared at him like he was some random lunatic, well he was random, but not a lunatic.

"Who are you?" the child he recognized as Violet asked. Ew, did she have to chew her gum while she talked?

"He's Willy Wonka," Charlie's elder said in awe.

Willy felt an wave of anxiety wash over him as ten pairs of eyes were on him. Thankfully he'd remembered to bring cue cards for just such an event, but he fumbled over his lines. He then just chose to forget the cards and smile at the group.

Willy got a smile from Charlie and unimpressed looks from the others.

"Shouldn't you be up there?" Veruca asked, pointing up at the stage, not appearing to care that the chair in the center was on fire.

"Well I couldn't very well watch the show from up there now could I little girl," Willy responded.

He was taken aback when Charlie's elder spoke up about how he used to work in the factory. Willy instantly felt suspicious, but smiled when the old man assured him that he hadn't been one of those dreadful spies sent to steal his secrets.

"Let's get a move on kids, far too much to see," Willy spoke, gesturing for the group to follow him through the front doors. He frowned when Mike didn't set off the metal detector. Not a robot then, well he would make it his mission to get some type of emotion out of that child before the day was over.

"Don't you want to know our names?" Augustus asked.

"I can't imagine why it would matter," Willy replied, forgetting his manners for a moment. _Three of you have already lost the contest anyway and one is getting there._

Once inside, Willy was relieved to be back within the warmth of his factory. Some of his guests seemed to find it too warm, but he quickly explained that he had to keep it that way for his workers. He was oddly pleased when Charlie inquired about this. A genuine curiosity about the world around him was another thing Willy ticked off on the things of reasons Charlie stood out above the other children so far.

As he lead the way towards the Chocolate room, Willy froze when he felt a small pairs of arms around his waist. He gritted his teeth as Violet, the girl who had the audacity to hug him, introduced herself. Gross, was every conversation with her going to be punctuated with chewing and smacking sounds? Willy tried to picture a lifetime of that and nearly shuddered.

"I don't care," he couldn't help saying, mentally scratching Violet off the list of potential heirs and leaving only Charlie.

"You should care because I'm the girl who's going to win the big prize at the end," the girl continued.

Willy forced a smile. "Well you do seem confident, and confidence is key." _Overconfidence however is a different story._

Nonetheless, Violet seemed pleased with this and backed off only for Veruca to step up.

"I'm Veruca Salt, it's very nice to meet you sir."

Willy would've been fooled by this false display of politeness had he not heard the girl barking orders earlier.

"I always thought a Veruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot," he replied, adding a quick laugh at the end as her face completely transformed from happy to angry. He made to move away but Augustus popped up in front of him.

"I'm Augustus Gloop and I luff your chocolate," he said through and mouthful of guess what, chocolate.

"I can see that, so do I. I never expected us to have so much in common," Willy said.

He again made to continue, but figured he might as well address the other two kids.

"You," he said, spinning around to face Mike, "you're Mike Teavee. You're the little devil who cracked the system."

Mike just stared blankly so Willy moved on to Charlie, searching for something to say to the boy he'd yet to find a problem with.

"And you, well you're just lucky to be here aren't you?"

Charlie didn't reply earlier, but appeared to ponder his words.

Willy turned back towards the group.

"And you must be their p-" he stumbled over the words.

"Parents?" Mr. Salt provided.

"Yes that," Willy said, "Moms and dads."

At the word dads, a chill went through him as several memories fought to reach the surface. He shook them off as now wasn't the time.

"Ok then, lets move along," he said, continuing on the way to the Chocolate Room.

As he lead his guests down the long hallway, Willy listened to the interactions of the children behind him. He frowned when Augustus taunted Charlie with a bar of chocolate. Not only was the Gloop insulting his favorite ticket winner, but who on earth goes on a tour of a chocolate factory which includes a lifetime supply of chocolate to take home at the end and brings their own chocolate? Willy loved candy more than anything, but even he understood the concept of moderation; not to mention diabetes.

Willy felt excited when they reached the door to the chocolate room. He'd decorated it to resemble the shrinking door from Alice in Wonderland, one of his favorite movies as a child. He'd shown it to some Oompa Loompa's once and got annoyed when they kept pointing at him and giggling whenever the Mad Hatter was onscreen.

Mike, ever the unimaginative, immediately inquired about why the door was so small. Willy wasn't sure if he was dense enough to not release it was just a decoration over the real door or if the boy was just trying to make him look dumb, but either way, he was going to have fun.

"It's to keep all the great big chocolaty flavor inside," he said smiling.

Bending down, he pulled out his ring of keys and pretended to unlock the tiny door. Then he pushed against the real doors which hadn't been locked in the first place and breathed in the familiar scent as the Chocolate Room was revealed.

"Now do be careful my dear children," he said as his guests stepped into the magnificent room. "Don't lose your heads. Don't get overexcited. Just keep very calm."

There was silence as everyone took in the sight of the chocolate room.

"It's beautiful," Charlie said, breaking the silence.

"What?" Willy said, having forgotten for a second that he had guests, "oh yes, it's very beautiful."

So far Charlie was the only one who'd complimented his factory which earned him major points.

As they wandered through the Chocolate Room, Willy shared a few interesting facts with the group. He told them all about the chocolate river, one of his absolute favorite features in the factory.

Next he pointed out the edible grass and encouraged them to try some.

"You can eat the grass?" Charlie asked in wonder.

That was another think Willy was starting to like about Charlie. The boy seemed genuinely interested in the factory and wasn't afraid to ask questions rather than stand back and look confused or startled like the others.

"Of course you can," Willy replied, finding himself enjoying the opportunity to show off his Chocolate Room, "everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism my dear children and is in fact frowned upon in most societies." _Wouldn't want to give the Gloop boy any ideas._

He finally gave the group permission to go off and sample the delights of the Chocolate Room. Everyone raced off to various parts of the room except for Mr. Salt who sent Willy a look and raised an eyebrow at him.

 _Well don't look at me,_ Willy thought. _You're on your own if your daughter starts demanding her own chocolate room._

He walked around observing his guests enjoying the Chocolate Room. Willy cringed at the sight of Mike smashing and stomping on his jelly-filled squash field and Augustus crawling on his hands and knees to eat the grass. He was brought out of his thoughts of how much work it was going to be to clean the place up by the Salt girl's shout when she spotted the Oompa Loompa's going about their work. Willy hurried over to join the crowd that was gathering near the riverbank. Naturally everyone wanted to know who these mysterious workers were and after Mike's particularly rude inquiry about whether they were real people or not, Willy chose to answer.

Naturally, like his son, Mr. Teavee was skeptical about the existence of Loompa Land.

"Mr. Wonka I teach high school geography and I'm here to tell you…."

"Well then you'll know all about it and what a terrible country it is," Willy cut him off. Honestly, how can one say Loompa Land isn't real when they're looking right at a group of Oompa Loompa's?

Remembering that his potential heir was among his guests, Willy told the story of his trip to Loompa Land and how he'd acquired his employees.

As he finished the story, he heard Mrs. Gloop scolding her son for something. Willy turned to see Augustus drinking from the chocolate river with his hands.

"Hey little boy, my chocolate must be untouched by human hands," Willy attempted to sound worried. Inside he was cheering. Barely ten minutes in the Chocolate Room and the Gloop had already fallen in the river like he was hoping.

As the boy's mother shouted to her son and demanded someone save him, Willy cast a glance at the pipe which as if on cue(or an Oompa Loompa observing from the control room), began moving towards the part of the river Augustus was in.

Willy had to think of all the cleaning that would have to be done later in order to keep himself from smiling as Augustus went up the pipe and got stuck. It was exactly what he'd been hoping for.

It was Charlie who noticed the Oompa Loompa's beginning to dance.

"Why I believe they're going to treat us to a little song," Willy answered the questions about what they were doing. "It is quite a special occasion of course. They haven't had a fresh audience in many a moon."

This time he didn't bother fighting the smile as the Oompa Loompa's gathered along the banks of the river to begin their song. Willy had asked them to keep the songs for the losing participants a surprise so he was quite excited to see what they'd put together for the Gloop.

"Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, the great big greedy nincompoop."

It was quite catchy and Willy couldn't help bobbing his head along to the music. Now he hoped the other three children who weren't Charlie failed their tests because he wanted to see what else his employees had come up with.

As if perfectly timed, the pressure finally pushed Augustus the rest of the way up the pipe as the song ended. Willy couldn't resist clapping and asking everyone's opinion of the show they'd just witnessed.

He was surprised when a few of them caught on to the fact that the song had been pre-planned.

"Oh poppycock," he said, partially to dismiss the accusations and partially because they'd caught on to his plans already.

He was immediately accosted by Mrs. Gloop wanting to know where her son went.

"Well that pipe it just so happens to lead directly to the room where I make the most delicious strawberry flavored chocolate coated fudge," Willy said with a smile. Now he really wished he had some fudge.

The craving went away when Mrs. Gloop filled his mind with images of Augustus ended up in the mix and being sold to customers.

"No I wouldn't allow it," said a grossed out Willy. "The taste would be terrible. Can you imagine Augustus flavored chocolate coated gloop, ew. No one would buy it."

Mrs. Gloop glared in response which Willy found silly.

 _What, I just said I_ _wasn't_ _going to make your son into fudge and sell him for human consumption._

Nonetheless, Willy called for an Oompa Loompa and asked him to take Mrs. Gloop up to the fudge room to find her son.

As she was led away, Charlie asked how Augustus's name could already be in the Oompa Loompa's song.

Willy came up with an explanation of improvisation and asked Violet, who was standing closest, to give him a word to use as an example.

"Chewing gum," she replied.

 _Is that all you ever think about?_ Willy thought. "Chewing gum is really gross. Chewing gum I hate the most. See it's exactly the same."

"No it isn't," Mike said in response.

"You really shouldn't mumble because I can't understand a word you're saying," Willy said to him. "Now," he gestured with his cane, "onward."

 **A/N: Funny story, the remote to my dvd player stopped working so I had to rely on youtube clips and then whatever wasn't on youtube I had to sit and watch the movie all the way to those scenes since I can't fast forward.**


	7. Chapter 7

The now smaller group headed down the river bank. Willy smiled when he heard drum music approaching and soon a bright pink boat came around the corner.

The Oompa Loompa's who'd gone to get the boat ready after finishing the song, laughed as they caught Willy's eye.

"What's so funny?" Violet asked.

Willy quickly came up with an excuse about chocolate and giving one the feeling of being in love.

"You don't say," Violet's mother said, trying her best to flirt with Willy.

 _Ew,_ he thought, _change of plans, I need to stop the boat at the Inventing Room first and then the Nut Room._

As the group boarded the boat, Willy caught the rowers' eyes and nodded his head in the direction of the Beauregardes.

Once everyone was aboard the boat, Willy had his choice of which of the four pairs his wanted to sit next to. He chose Charlie and his grandpa of course.

As the boat sailed down the river, Willy noticed how skinny the boy next to him was. Reaching for a ladle hanging off the back of the boat, he scooped up some of the chocolate from the river.

"Here," he said, passing it to Charlie. "Try some of this, you look starved to death."

He waited for an opinion as Charlie tasted it.

"It's great," was the response he got.

"That's because it's mixed by waterfall," Willy replied. "By the way, no other factory in the world mixes their chocolate by…"

"You already said that," Veruca interrupted in a voice Willy was quickly getting tired of.

 _Excuse me, I was telling something important to my potential heir whom I wasn't sure heard me the first time. You're just along for the ride._

Of course he couldn't exactly tell her that so he settled for looking around at the three other children and saying "you're all quite short aren't you?"

"Well yeah, we're children," Violet said. Gosh did she ever stop chewing? Willy wondered if her sense of taste was dulled from chewing the same flavorless piece of gum nonstop for months on end.

"Well that's no excuse, I was never as short as you," he replied.

"You were once," Mike said.

"No I distinctly remember putting a hat on top of my head," Willy replied, wondering why the parents weren't defending their children.

"Do you remember what it was like to be a kid?" Charlie asked curiously.

"Oh boy do I," Willy replied. A memory began to resurface. "Do I?"

The memory was of the first year he'd been allowed to go trick or treating for Halloween. Willy remembered his father inspecting the candy afterwards and declaring all of it to be bad for his teeth before throwing the lot into the fire. Willy would never forget the smell of burning sugar. He'd almost been able to taste it.

"Mr. Wonka," Charlie's voice cut through the fog he was in. "Mr. Wonka, we're heading for a tunnel."

"Oh, yeah," Willy said, coming back to reality, "full speed ahead."

The boat entered the completely darkened tunnel. Now was his chance to see how his guests really handled the unexpected.

Violet asked how the Oompa Loompa's could tell where they were going.

"They can't," Willy said mysteriously, "there's no knowing where they're going. Switch on the lights."

The lights came on just in time for the boat to take a steep drop down into some of the underground caverns of his factory. The flashing lights and the Oompa Loompa playing the drums at the front of the boat made the ride seem much faster than normal. Willy looked around and could see that the children and their parents were frightened. When he turned to look at Charlie though, the boy had a huge smile on his face like he was enjoying the ride.

 _At least someone knows how to enjoy having fun,_ he thought.

The boat righted itself again and everyone looked relieved.

 _Honestly,_ Willy thought, _do they really think I'm going let anything happen to the boat while I'm in it?_

"People," he called to get their attention, "keep an eye out, we're passing some very important rooms here."

They passed by the storage rooms for clotted cream, coffee cream, and hair cream.

"What do you use hair cream for?" Ms. Beauregarde asked in concern.

"To lock in moisture," Willy said, touching his shiny chestnut locks.

The very idea of using hair in candy was silly. For one thing it was unsanitary and for another it really wouldn't add any flavor.

They passed a room where cows were being milked and the gathered milk being beaten with whips.

"Whipped cream," Charlie said excitedly.

Willy turned to him with the first genuine smile he'd given to one of his guests. "Precisely," he said, pleased that someone in this group had real observational skills.

"That doesn't make any sense," Veruca's bratty voice ruined the happy moment.

Willy's smile dropped. "For your information little girl, whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped by whips. Everybody knows that," Willy said. Actually only he knew that which was why his whipped cream was the greatest there ever was.

Veruca gave him an unimpressed look and turned back to watch the river. The boat turned to the tunnel leading down to the Inventing Room, passing through some heavy rapids along the way. Willy was surprised to see Mike looking scared, but was relieved to see the boy did in fact know how to make different facial expressions. Charlie though still had a smile on his face as the boat steadied again.

"Stop the boat," Willy said as the Inventing Room came into view, "I want to show you guys something."

Once inside the Inventing Room, Willy turned to address the group.

"Now this is the most important room in the entire factory. Now everyone enjoy yourselves, but just don't touch anything."

Truthfully all the dangerous machines had been shut off to prevent any unwanted accidents.

"Hey Mr. Wonka, what's this?" Violet asked, having found the Everlasting Gobstopper machine.

"Oh," Willy said, heading over, "let me show you."

He picked one up and explained what it was.

"So it's like gum?" Violet asked.

 _Forget the lifetime supply of chocolate, I should've just given this one a piece of gum._ "No, gum is for chewing and if you tried chewing one of these gobstoppers, you'd break all your little teeth off, but they sure do taste terrific." 

Truthfully, the only reason Willy showed them this machine was because he planned to offer each child a gobstopper later so they wouldn't complain after losing the contest.

Next he showed them hair toffee, for people who wanted to grow instant hair, and a mustache, and a beard.

"Who wants a beard?" Mike said snottily.

 _Well you'll have no trouble growing one sitting in front of the tv all day when you're older,_ Willy thought. Instead of saying this, he listed the types of people who'd want a beard.

When they came upon the three course gum machine, Willy gave an excited smile as he gathered everyone around for a demonstration. The machine sputtered and whirred and at last produced a single stick of gum. Like a moth drawn to a flame, Violet reached over and grabbed it.

"You mean that's it?" Mike asked.

"Do you even know what it is?" Willy asked.

"It's gum," Violet said.

"Yes," Willy said, "it's a stick of the most amazing and sensational gum in the whole universe, know why, know why, because this gum is a full course dinner all by itself."

Willy explained further and as always, everyone seemed skeptical except the Buckets and Violet who wanted to try it.

Willy made a weak protest, but inside he was cheering as Violet stuck the gum in her mouth.

With her mother cheering her on and Willy making a few more weak protests just to avoid suspicion, Violet chewed through the first two courses and then…. 

"What's happening to her nose?" Veruca asked.

"It's turning blue," her father supplied.

"Your whole nose has gone purple," Ms. Beauregarde said in horror. "Violet, you're turning Violet."

Strangely, Violet reached up to touch her nose in concern yet continued chewing the gum. The blue began to spread to her whole body and everyone backed up when she began to swell. Nobody seemed to notice the Oompa Loompa's gathering in the background.

"Mother, what's happening to me?" Violet asked as she grew to the size of a small living room. Through it all, she still continued to chew the gum.

"I've tried it on like twenty Oompa Loompas and they've all become blueberries, it's just weird," Willy said, popping up next to Ms. Beauregarde.

"But I can't have a blueberry as a daughter," Ms. Beauregarde replied, "How's she supposed to compete?"

"You can put her in a county fair," Veruca suggested.

Willy actually laughed at this, but Ms. Beauregarde glared in response.

 _Well fine then, don't take advantage of all the fame you can get from having a human-blueberry hybrid,_ Willy thought.

Right on cue, music started playing, grabbing everyones' attention.

"Listen close, listen hard, little Violet Beauregarde…."

This time instead of just smiling, Willy danced along to the disco beat accompanying Violet's failure song.

Once it was done he instructed an Oompa Loompa to take Ms. Beauregarde down to the juicing room so the juice could be squeezed out of her daughter. Truthfully, Violet wasn't in any danger of exploding, he just wanted to get rid of Ms. Beauregarde so she'd quit staring at him.


	8. Chapter 8

With gum girl and her mother gone, the next stop on the tour was the nut room. This oddly got Mr. Salt's attention and Willy remembered the man worked in the nut business. Weird, an entire business for something that made up only one room in Willy's own factory.

Mr. Salt handed Willy his business card which Willy tossed away and started asking about some complicated machinery which sounded like gibberish to him.

"You're really weird," Willy laughed, wondering why anyone would build complicated machines just to crack and sort nuts.

Willy opened the door to reveal how his factory handled nut sorting.

"Squirrels," Veruca said, leaning on the gate to get a better look into the room.

"Yeah squirrels," Willy said. He began explaining the efficiency of using squirrels to harvest and sort nuts. Once again Charlie looked intrigued and Mike looked, well Willy was really starting to wonder how it was possible to glare while looking bored at the same time.

As predicted, Veruca demanded her father get her a squirrel, but not just any squirrel, one of Wonka's trained squirrels.

Willy actually had fun saying no to both father and daughter. Not understanding the concept of being denied something, Veruca shot Willy a glare and slipped between the bars of the gate.

Willy only gave one halfhearted protest as Veruca crossed the room to the sorting benches.

"I'll have you," she said, reaching for one of the squirrels. Instantly, a swarm of squirrels flung themselves at her and pinned her to the floor. While her father shouted for her, Willy puled out his ring of keys and pretended to search for the one that opened the gate. He knew which one it was, he just didn't want to miss whatever song his Oompa Loompas worked so hard on.

After decided she was a bad nut, the squirrels began dragging Veruca over the garbage chute.

Willy waited until she'd been tossed down the chute to suddenly 'find' the correct key.

As Mr. Salt headed down the steps, another catchy beat started up as Oompa Loompas began filing into the room.

"Veruca Salt, the little brute, has just gone down the garbage chute….."

The Oompa Loompas must've really wanted to perform this one as they kept surrounding Mr. Salt and pointing accusingly at him throughout the song. Willy was pleasantly surprised when the man ended up getting knocked down the garbage chute at the end of the song. This was the first time the punishment had extended to the child's elder as well.

And then there were two: Charlie, the boy Willy knew for certain he was choosing for his heir, and Mike who Willy was sort of hoping would eventually get bored and leave at some point.


	9. Chapter 9

Now that there were only four of his guests remaining, the group had become small enough to fit in the glass elevator. Once again, Mike tried to argue about something he considered impossible. This time it was the amount of buttons in the elevator and how it couldn't possibly go to that many places.

Undeterred by this, Willy began pushing buttons to some of the most interesting rooms in the factory. Technically they were all interesting, but these were all things he knew no other factory in the world had.

Their first stop was Fudge Mountain where they waved to the Oompa Loompa's harvesting the fudge with pickaxes.

Next they passed through the room where Willy had been doing some tricky genetic engineering to create sheep that grew pink cotton candy instead of wool.

"Oh," Willy said excited to share this advancement in candy making, but then remembering Mike "that's impossible" Teavee was in the elevator with him. "I'd rather not talk about this one."

They passed the brand new puppet hospital ward, passed the administration offices where Willy stopped to say hello to Doris (and show off the fact that he'd successfully gotten rid of three of the rotten children) and then were passing through the area where they tested the strength of jawbreakers by shooting them out of guns like bullets.

"Why is everything here completely pointless?" Mike asked as jawbreakers exploded all around them.

"Candy doesn't have to have a point, that's why it's candy," Charlie said.

Willy's face took on a thoughtful look as this was the first time he'd ever had the urge to pick someone up and spin them around in a hug.

The moment was ruined by Mike declaring candy to be a waste of time which brought to the surface the memory of Willy's last fight with his father. He knew his father was a dentist and dentists hated candy, but going so far as to leave and take the entire house with him because he was dispointed to have a son who wanted to be a candy maker was a bit much.

"I want to pick a room," Mike's voice snapped him out of the memory.

Willy smiled as he had a feeling he knew what the boy had spotted that caught his interest for the first time all day. He might finally be able to get rid of his least favorite ticket holder.

Mike pushed the button for the Television Room, surprising no one, and the elevator was off again.

Once in the Television room, Willy showed them how his television chocolate invention worked by shrinking down a giant chocolate bar and having it reappear on the television screen.

Surprisingly, Mike refused to take it so Charlie did instead.

"It's great," he said, tasting it.

Everyone began congratulating Willy on his invention except of course for Mike.

"Don't you know what you've invented?" Mike asked. "It's a teleporter, the most important invention in the history of the world and all you think about is chocolate."

Willy shared a glance with the Oompa Loompa operating the remote.

 _Here we go._

"Calm down Mike, I think Mr. Wonka knows what he's talking about," Mr. Teavee tried.

"Well he doesn't, he has no idea," Mike said.

Charlie and Grandpa Joe shared a glance and Willy almost wondered if they were thinking the same thing he was.

"You think he's a genius, but he's an idiot," Mike continued his rant, "but I'm not."

He darted off towards the machine, shoving his way past several Oompa Loompas who'd gathered, not to stop him, but to get ready for his goodbye song.

This time Willy couldn't hide his smile as Mike stood on the platform and started the machine. The boy floated up into the air, smiling as waving as he did so. If the machine hadn't been making a humming noise, Willy bet they would've heard a creaking sound when Mike smiled.

There was a flash of light and he was gone.

The group moved over to the tv and Willy instructed the Oompa Loompa with the remote to flip through channels until they found Mike.

They finally found him on a news station where the news caster looked suspiciously like an Oompa Loompa. Just then, the Oompa Loompa newscaster began to sing.

"The most important thing, the most important thing we've learned…"

Willy didn't know how the Oompa Loompas had managed to record themselves into every channel, but this was by far their best performance yet.

The song ended back on the news station, with Mike getting swatted with a stack of papers.

Once they rescued Mike from the tv, the boy asked Willy to send him back the other way.

"There is no other way," Willy said. It was quite funny actually, his biggest skeptic of the day ending up testing a strange machine on himself. Of course he couldn't just leave the boy like this.

"Young men are extremely springy, just go put him in the taffy puller," he offered when Mr. Teavee asked for a solution.

With that, the Teavee's with off to the taffy room, Mr. Teavee carrying his mouse sized son.


	10. Chapter 10

"So," Willy said, "how many are left?"

He already knew the answer, he just wanted to hear someone say it because it was just so exciting.

"Mr. Wonka," Grandpa Joe spoke up, "Charlie's the only one left."

A wide smile spread across Willy's face.

"Oh my dear boy," he said, grabbing Charlie's hand and shaking it, "that means you've won."

Willy was babbling now, but he didn't care. He was just so excited that he'd achieved what he'd set out to do. He had his heir.

He was so eager to start celebrating, that he walked straight into the glass elevator. He quickly brushed himself off and led his two remaining guests into the elevator before pushing a button.

"Up and out, what kind of a room is that?" Charlie asked.

"Hold on," Willy said, meaning that both literally and figuratively.

"We're going to need to go much faster or we'll never break through," he said as the elevator wizzed upwards.

"Break through what?" Charlie asked.

"I've been longing to press that button for years," Willy said excitedly, "well here we go, up and out."

The other two occupants of the elevator realized what he meant and clung to each other nervously. Willy knew they would be fine though, the elevator was made of unbreakable glass. Plus as with the boat, he wouldn't be crazy enough to crash the elevator with him in it.

The elevator broke through the glass roof and began to fall. Just before crashing into the factory, the emergency rockets kicked on and the elevator began to fly.

As they hovered over the front courtyard of the factory, the front doors opened and the losing contest members emerged. Willy had arranged this as he knew Charlie would want to see that everyone had made it out unharmed.

Augustus was coated in fudge, but a bath would take care of that, although Willy doubted there would be anything left to wash off the way he was licking his fingers.

Violet was doing gymnastic moves all the way across the courtyard. She could have quite the career as long as people weren't weirded out by her being blue.

Veruca and her father were coated in garbage. Willy could see Veruca pointing up at the elevator and apparently having a disagreement with her father. So tossing someone and their child in the garbage makes them rethink their parenting techniques, who knew?

Mike came out stretched out to eight feet tall. He might have a good career on a basketball team if he starts leaving his house once in awhile.

"Where do you live?" Willy asked Charlie.

The boy would want to pack his things before moving into the factory and say goodbye to his family.

Charlie pointed out his house in the distance and Willy understood now why the wall had appeared crooked on tv. It wasn't just the wall that was crooked, the entire house was.

They flew over to the house and despite Willy meaning to land in the yard, well he just wasn't used to flying the elevator, and they crashed through the roof instead. Luckily they didn't land on the bed with three old people in it.

Charlie happily greeted his parents while Willy hunted around for something he'd spotted in the background during Charlie's tv interview. He finally found what he was looking for in one of the cupboards. It was a model of his factory made of toothpaste caps. There was even a figure of him included.

Willy held up the model and explained that Charlie had won his entire factory.

Everyone was happy until Charlie faltered when he found out Willy didn't want his family coming with him. Willy tried to explain that they would just get in the way, but Charlie shocked him by turning down his offer.

Willy was in such shock, he didn't know what to do other than say goodbye and get back in the elevator to leave. He couldn't figure out what had gone wrong. Charlie was everything he'd been hoping for and the boy seemed so entranced by the factory. How could he not want to become the heir of the world's greatest chocolate maker?

Willy dejectedly returned to his factory alone.

Throughout the next week, he'd tried to return things to normal around the factory. Everything that had been damaged or moved around during the tour was fixed and everything was as it should be. Willy was still feeling mopey after the failed contest, but tried to get back into the swing of making candy. The only problem was everything he made that week came out terrible. After several days of failed candies, Willy arranged a meeting with his therapist. It didn't take long to figure out the problem.

"I feel terrible so the candy tastes terrible," Willy said.

He knew there was only one way to solve this. He needed to go see Charlie. That boy reminded Willy to much of himself as a child for him to let him go so easily.

Willy left the factory, disguising himself by carrying a newspaper in front of him. He meant to go by Charlie's house, but spotted the boy shining someone's shoes a few blocks from the factory. Willy waited until the previous customer left before sitting down in the chair, keeping his face hidden by the newspaper.

He and Charlie made small talk about the contest until Charlie made a comment about him having a funny haircut.

"I do not," Willy protested, although Charlie had already figured out who he was.

"Why are you here?" the boy asked.

"Because I feel awful," Willy said. "Now what makes you feel better when you feel awful?"

"My family," Charlie replied.

There was that word again. Willy wasn't sure how it happened, but he ended up confessing to Charlie about his broken relationship with his father.

He also wasn't sure how Charlie managed to convince him to go visit his father, but that happened too and soon Willy was sitting in the dentist's chair nervously waiting as his father examined his teeth, unaware that it was his estranged son's mouth he was looking into.

"I haven't seen bicuspids like these since….." Dr. Wonka paused as it dawned on him. "Willy?"

"Hi dad," Willy said.

He sat up in the chair and father and son regarded each other for the first time in over twenty years.

"All these years," Dr. Wonka said, "and you haven't flossed."

"Not once," Willy said, expecting a scolding.

Instead his father put his arms around him in a hug, which he returned albeit awkwardly.

As he left his father's house later that day with his past no longer haunting him, Willy repeated his offer to Charlie. This time the entire Bucket family was included in the offer. Charlie readily accepted and the family moved in right away. Literally, they along with all of their stuff including the kitchen sink came along at once for Willy arranged for the entire house to be moved into the factory to a meadow in the Chocolate Room. He quickly got used to having the Bucket family living in the factory. He especially loved Grandma Georgina who always said the funniest things and of course there was Charlie who seemed to appreciate candy just as much as Willy and always came up with interesting new ideas.

And so in the end, Willy not only found the perfect heir, but also the family he didn't even know he'd wanted.


End file.
